Justin Bieber wife

Do you feel pride when you find out a band/musician is Canadian?

2020.11.30 00:49 _numbskullery_ Do you feel pride when you find out a band/musician is Canadian?

I made a Canadian playlist for my brother and his wife who are on a road trip moving across the country, and I wanted it to include a ton of great Canadian music beyond Shania Twain, Celine Dion and Justin Bieber. So impressed by the music that I’ve found! What would you add to a Canadian road trip playlist?
submitted by _numbskullery_ to AskACanadian [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 11:39 templederr Justin Bieber and wife Hailey promote the pop star's streetwear line Drew House

Justin Bieber and wife Hailey promote the pop star's streetwear line Drew House submitted by templederr to trendandstyle [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 17:36 asalrui 22 [F4R] Worldwide - I have a pug, want to be friends?

Hello fellow redditer,
You probably saw the pug part and got excited, or just thought what a lame person I am, Anyways I am Ana, I live currently in Mexico. If you are interested i can send you a pic of my pug.
Let me tell you a bit of me:
- I know how to make decent Guacamole
-I have a Dutch boyfriend (yeah I am taken, only looking for friends) (hehehe)
- I lived 3 months in The Netherlands and i can speak just a bit
- I was studying Interior design, just dropped out because classes online suck balls and also it wasnt my style
- I am really into dogs, I see your dog i will steal it (okay not really)
- I love music and chilling, so we can share playlist and shit
- Uhm idk if its relevant but i like to watch NFL sometimes, my team are the cinncinati Bengals (they suck but i like them)
-Yeah I like to Travel and take pictures everywhere about everything, yeah I am that annoying girl that holds up everyone so I can take a picture. (Not many selfies i promise, so dont hate).
Some random fact about me:
-The best nachos I have ever tasted are in the Netherlands
- I have an extra vertebrae than everyone else, its funny because you would think I am maybe a bit taller because of it but no, I am kinda small height (bummer because when i was little I wanted ton be a basketball player) (hahahaha as if)
Some very random facts:
- I once smoked weed with my father in law (he is a cool dude)
- I went to a catholic school (idk why this would be interesting its just popped my mind.
- My brother once hang out with justin bieber because he was hanging out with his dealer. (sounds fake but nope)
- I love working on sports events, the ones I have been is to various F1 races in Mexico and also in a Tennis tournament, where a coach of a player hit on me and i found out he had a WIFE!!! (tune in if you wanna know whos coach was it)
What I am looking for:
- A friend that wants to ramble with me
- Video calls or voice calls
- If you are dutch you can teach me a bit of dutch plz and also be friends hahaha
- plz dont send short things if you dont wanna really talk.
- dont be a weird catfish plz, this is friendly enviroment
so if you like what you read, you feel a bit related, or didnt cringe and got till here, hit me up! we can get to know each other and hopefully get a friendship.
Adios Tacos
submitted by asalrui to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.23 16:27 Finderblogs Justin Bieber celebrates wife Hailey's birthday

Justin Bieber celebrates wife Hailey's birthday submitted by Finderblogs to u/Finderblogs [link] [comments]


2020.11.23 04:39 templederr Justin Bieber Posts Sweet Birthday Message to Wife Hailey: "You Are My Safe Place"

Justin Bieber Posts Sweet Birthday Message to Wife Hailey: submitted by templederr to trendandstyle [link] [comments]


2020.11.23 00:35 przemkas Justin Bieber Celebrates Wife Hailey Baldwin's 24th Birthday: 'Can't Believe You Are Mine Forever' - Yahoo Entertainment

Justin Bieber Celebrates Wife Hailey Baldwin's 24th Birthday: 'Can't Believe You Are Mine Forever' - Yahoo Entertainment submitted by przemkas to FreshNewsToday [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 22:09 FrontpageWatch2020 [#113+20027948] Hillsong pastor and spiritual adviser to Justin Bieber fired after cheating on wife [r/nottheonion]

submitted by FrontpageWatch2020 to longtail [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 21:02 autotldr Hillsong pastor and spiritual adviser to Justin Bieber fired after cheating on wife

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 44%. (I'm a bot)
Carl Lentz, a mega-church pastor and one-time spiritual adviser to singer Justin Bieber, has been fired from Hillsong church after cheating on his wife.
"This action was not taken lightly and was done in the best interests of everyone, including Pastor Carl," Houston wrote, thanking Lentz and his wife, Laura, for their work in the church.
According to Religion News Service, he became pastor in 2010 after launching the mega-church's first U.S. location with Houston's son, Joel.While Houston did not reveal what led to the firing, saying in his statement that the decision was made "Following ongoing discussions in relation to leadership issues and breaches of trust, plus a recent revelation of moral failures", Lentz did address the reason on his own Instagram page.
"Our time at HillsongNYC has come to an end. This is a hard ending to what has been the most amazing, impacting and special chapter of our lives. Leading this church has been an honor in every sense of the word and it is impossible to articulate how much we have loved and will always love the amazing people in this church," he wrote.
"When you accept the calling of being a pastor, you must live in such a way that it honors the mandate. That it honors the church, and that it honors God. When that does not happen, a change needs to be made and has been made in this case to ensure that standard is upheld."Laura and I and our amazing children have given all that we have to serve and build this church and over the years I did not do an adequate job of protecting my own spirit, refilling my own soul and reaching out for the readily available help that is available.
"To our pastors Brian and Bobbie, thank you for allowing us to lead, allowing us to thrive and giving us room to have a voice that you have never stifled or tried to silence. Thank you for your grace and kindness especially in this season, as you have done so much to protect and love us through this."We, the Lentz family, don't know what this next chapter will look like, but we will walk into it together very hopeful and grateful for the grace of God.".
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: church#1 pastor#2 Lentz#3 people#4 Hillsong#5
Post found in /nottheonion, /news, /AnythingGoesNews, /nottheonion and /deepfatfried.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
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2020.11.22 20:04 EricSchC1fr Hillsong pastor and spiritual adviser to Justin Bieber, Carl Lentz, fired after cheating on wife

Hillsong pastor and spiritual adviser to Justin Bieber, Carl Lentz, fired after cheating on wife submitted by EricSchC1fr to AnythingGoesNews [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 16:56 elizabethunseelie Hillsong pastor and spiritual adviser to Justin Bieber fired after cheating on wife

Hillsong pastor and spiritual adviser to Justin Bieber fired after cheating on wife submitted by elizabethunseelie to deepfatfried [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 14:01 Landiti1 What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)3

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2020.11.17 09:39 templederr Justin Bieber and wife Hailey share matching selfies as Justin teases new collab with Shawn Mendes

Justin Bieber and wife Hailey share matching selfies as Justin teases new collab with Shawn Mendes submitted by templederr to trendandstyle [link] [comments]


2020.11.16 01:37 mjstudios97 πŸ‚ Fall of 2009 🍁 is here! 🏫 2009-10 κœ±α΄„Κœα΄α΄ΚŸ ʏᴇᴀʀ πŸ“š

πŸ‚ Fall of 2009 🍁 is here! 🏫 2009-10 κœ±α΄„Κœα΄α΄ΚŸ ʏᴇᴀʀ πŸ“š
Finally finished the fall 2009, with some world events, pop culture events, and films, games, and shows that were released during this time. What do you remember about the fall of 2009? Please, feel free to share your stories and thoughts, regardless of what your birth year is! Also, if there's anything missing that you feel like should be added... Do let me know!
Kindergarteners during the 2009-10 school year.
Middle schoolers during the 2009-10 school year.
Class of 2010 during the 2009-10 school year.
Class of 2010 showing off their costumes for Halloween 2009.

Fall 2009 πŸ‚

Events that happened but are not limited to: A 7.1 Earthquake claims 60 lives in Indonesia (Sep 2), A flood sweeps through Istanbul, Turkey and claims 30 lives (Sep 9), China promises to reduce emissions (Sep 22) Underwater 8.0 Earthquake and tsunami in Samoa claims 115 lives (Sep 29) Bank of America CEO resigns after 30 years, (Sep 30) Iran sends enriched uranium to Russia (Oct 1), Rio de Janeiro wins bid for 2016 Summer Olympics (Oct 2), Two suicide bombings in Baghdad, Iraq claim 155 lives (Oct 25) Two helicopters crash in Afghanistan, claiming the lives of 14 Americans, with 8 US troops, and 3 UN members killed in separate attacks making Oct. 2009 the deadliest month throughout the entirety of the 8-year war (Oct 27), NY Yankees win the 2009 World Series against the Philadelphia Phillies, they win their 27th title and their first win since 2000 (Nov 4), The US unemployment reaches an all-time low in 26 years at 10.2% (Nov 6), 3 American hikers are accused of espionage and are arrested in Iran (Nov 9), Blackwater attempts to bribe Iraq for civilian deaths that happened in 2007 (Nov 10) D.C. sniper that shot 10 people in 2002 in DC is executed (Nov 10), Water is discovered on the moon (Nov 13), Terrorist bomb derails Nevsky Express in Russia, claiming at least 25 lives (Nov 28)
Things that happened in pop culture but are not limited to: The 61st Emmy Awards is broadcasted on TV, hosted by Neil Patrick Harris. (Sep 12) The MTV Video Music Awards is televised on MTV where Lady Gaga gave her iconic performance of "Poker Face" and "Paparazzi" and Kanye West infamously interrupts Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. (Sep 13), Patrick Swayze, a famous actor from the 80s passes away. (Sep 14) TeenNick is officially launched, which is a merger of two programming blocks: The N on the now defunct Noggin channel, and the old TEENick. (Sep 28), Miley Cyrus makes an explanation on why she quitted Twitter by rapping on a video. (Oct 9), The Balloon Boy hits the headlines, when 6-year-old Falcon is supposedly trapped in a gas balloon that's flying through the atmosphere which is later proven to be a big hoax. (Oct 15), A documentary-concert film commemorating Michael Jackson is released (Oct 28) Ed Edd n Eddy which has been running for 10 years ends with a big marathon and with the Ed Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show (Nov 8), Oprah announces to a live audience that she will be ending her long-running talk show in 2011 (Nov 20), Donny Osmond wins Season 9 of Dancing with the Stars, just beating runner-up MΓ½a Marie Harrison (Nov 24).
TV shows that debuted but are not limited to: Vampire Diaries (Sep 10), Archer (Sep 17), Community (Sep 17), The Good Wife (Sep 22), NCIS: Los Angeles (Sep 22),Modern Family (Sep 23), The Jeff Dunham Show (Oct 22), White Collar (Oct 23), Naruto: Shippuden (Oct 28), Lopez Tonight (Nov 9), Big Time Rush (Nov 28).
Films that were released but are not limited to: 9 (Sep 9), Sorority Row (Sep 11), I Can Do Bad All by Myself (Sep 11), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (Sep 18), Love Happens (Sep 18), Whip It (Oct 2), Zombieland (Oct 2), Where the Wild Things are (Oct 16), Paranormal Activity (Oct 16), Saw VI (Oct 23), Michael Jackson's, This is It (Oct 28), The Fourth Kind (Nov 6), Disney's A Christmas Carol (Nov 6), 2012 (Nov 13), Twilight Saga: New Moon (Nov 20), The Blind Side (Nov 20)
Songs that were popular but are not limited to: "I Gotta Feeling" and "Meet me Halfway" by Black Eyed Peas, "Run This Town" by Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye West, "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey, "Whatcha Say" by Jason Derulo, "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon, "Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester, "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga, "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus, "Fireflies" by Owl City, "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, "One Less Lonely Girl" and "One Time" by Justin Bieber.
Games that were released but are not limited to: Batman Arkham Asylum (Aug 25), Guitar Hero 5 (Sep 1), NHL 10 (Sep 15), Scribblenauts (Sep 15), Scooby-Doo! First Frights (Sep 22), Halo 3: ODST (Sep 22), Saw (Oct 6), Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (Oct 13), Borderlands (Oct 20), FIFA 10 (Oct 20), League of Legends (Oct 27), GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony (Oct 29), Dragon Age: Origins (Nov 3), Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (Nov 10), New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Nov 11), Just Dance (Nov 17), Assassin's Creed II (Nov 17), Left 4 Dead 2 (Nov 17),
Top mobile phones for Fall 2009 include but are not limited to: Apple iPhone 3G, Nokia 3720 Classic, Nokia 6303 Classic, Nokia E52, Nokia 5800 Xpress Music, HTC HD2, Nokia E71, Sony Ericsson Naite, Samsung B2100, Nokia 6700 Classic
submitted by mjstudios97 to generationology [link] [comments]


2020.11.16 01:29 mjstudios97 πŸ“– 2009-10 κœ±α΄„Κœα΄α΄ΚŸ ʏᴇᴀʀ πŸ“š πŸ‚ Fall 2009 🍁

πŸ“– 2009-10 κœ±α΄„Κœα΄α΄ΚŸ ʏᴇᴀʀ πŸ“š πŸ‚ Fall 2009 🍁
Welcome to the first nostalgia post for the school years, in which this week I'll be starting off the 2009-10 school year with fall 2009. This post will be mainly about the Fall of 2009, as I'll be tackling the Winter or Spring in a separate post. Please feel free to share your thoughts, or share anything you feel I have missed and I'll be sure to add it! What do you remember about the Fall of 2009?

Kindergarteners during the 2009-10 school year.
Middle schoolers during the 2009-10 school year.
The class of 2010 during the 2009-10 school year.
Seniors showing off their costumes for Halloween 2009.

Fall 2009 πŸ‚

Events that happened but are not limited to: A 7.1 Earthquake claims 60 lives in Indonesia (Sep 2), A flood sweeps through Istanbul, Turkey and claims 30 lives (Sep 9), China promises to reduce emissions (Sep 22) Underwater 8.0 Earthquake and tsunami in Samoa claims 115 lives (Sep 29) Bank of America CEO resigns after 30 years, (Sep 30) Iran sends enriched uranium to Russia (Oct 1), Rio de Janeiro wins bid for 2016 Summer Olympics (Oct 2), Two suicide bombings in Baghdad, Iraq claim 155 lives (Oct 25) Two helicopters crash in Afghanistan, claiming the lives of 14 Americans, with 8 US troops, and 3 UN members killed in separate attacks making Oct. 2009 the deadliest month throughout the entirety of the 8-year war (Oct 27), NY Yankees win the 2009 World Series against the Philadelphia Phillies, they win their 27th title and their first win since 2000 (Nov 4), The US unemployment reaches an all-time low in 26 years at 10.2% (Nov 6), 3 American hikers are accused of espionage and are arrested in Iran (Nov 9), Blackwater attempts to bribe Iraq for civilian deaths that happened in 2007 (Nov 10) D.C. sniper that shot 10 people in 2002 in DC is executed (Nov 10), Water is discovered on the moon (Nov 13), Terrorist bomb derails Nevsky Express in Russia, claiming at least 25 lives (Nov 28)
Things that happened in pop culture but are not limited to: The 61st Emmy Awards is broadcasted on TV, hosted by Neil Patrick Harris. (Sep 12) The MTV Video Music Awards is televised on MTV where Lady Gaga gave her iconic performance of "Poker Face" and "Paparazzi" and Kanye West infamously interrupts Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. (Sep 13), Patrick Swayze, a famous actor from the 80s passes away. (Sep 14) TeenNick is officially launched, which is a merger of two programming blocks: The N on the now defunct Noggin channel, and the old TEENick. (Sep 28), Miley Cyrus makes an explanation on why she quitted Twitter by rapping on a video. (Oct 9), The Balloon Boy hits the headlines, when 6-year-old Falcon is supposedly trapped in a gas balloon that's flying through the atmosphere which is later proven to be a big hoax. (Oct 15), A documentary-concert film commemorating Michael Jackson is released. (Oct 28) Ed Edd n Eddy which has been running for 10 years ends with a big marathon and with the Ed Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show (Nov 8), Oprah announces to a live audience that she will be ending her long-running talk show in 2011 (Nov 20), Donny Osmond wins Season 9 of Dancing with the Stars, just beating runner-up MΓ½a Marie Harrison (Nov 24).
TV shows that debuted but are not limited to: Vampire Diaries (Sep 10), Archer (Sep 17), Community (Sep 17), The Good Wife (Sep 22), NCIS: Los Angeles (Sep 22),Modern Family (Sep 23), The Jeff Dunham Show (Oct 22), White Collar (Oct 23), Naruto: Shippuden (Oct 28), Lopez Tonight (Nov 9), Big Time Rush (Nov 28).
Films that were released but are not limited to: 9 (Sep 9), Sorority Row (Sep 11), I Can Do Bad All by Myself (Sep 11), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (Sep 18), Love Happens (Sep 18), Whip It (Oct 2), Zombieland (Oct 2), Where the Wild Things are (Oct 16), Paranormal Activity (Oct 16), Saw VI (Oct 23), Michael Jackson's, This is It (Oct 28), The Fourth Kind (Nov 6), Disney's A Christmas Carol (Nov 6), 2012 (Nov 13), Twilight Saga: New Moon (Nov 20), The Blind Side (Nov 20)
Songs that were popular but are not limited to: "I Gotta Feeling" and "Meet me Halfway" by Black Eyed Peas, "Run This Town" by Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye West, "Obsessed" by Mariah Carey, "Whatcha Say" by Jason Derulo, "Use Somebody" by Kings of Leon, "Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester, "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga, "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus, "Fireflies" by Owl City, "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, "One Less Lonely Girl" and "One Time" by Justin Bieber.
Games that were released but are not limited to: Batman Arkham Asylum (Aug 25), Guitar Hero 5 (Sep 1), NHL 10 (Sep 15), Scribblenauts (Sep 15), Scooby-Doo! First Frights (Sep 22), Halo 3: ODST (Sep 22), Saw (Oct 6), Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (Oct 13), Borderlands (Oct 20), FIFA 10 (Oct 20), League of Legends (Oct 27), GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony (Oct 29), Dragon Age: Origins (Nov 3), Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (Nov 10), New Super Mario Bros. Wii (Nov 11), Just Dance (Nov 17), Assassin's Creed II (Nov 17), Left 4 Dead 2 (Nov 17),
Top mobile phones for Fall 2009 include but are not limited to: Apple iPhone 3G, Nokia 3720 Classic, Nokia 6303 Classic, Nokia E52, Nokia 5800 Xpress Music, HTC HD2, Nokia E71, Sony Ericsson Naite, Samsung B2100, Nokia 6700 Classic
submitted by mjstudios97 to Zillennials [link] [comments]


2020.11.15 21:02 TheMindsGutter r/LiveFromNewYork's Best and Worst SNL Sketches!

Welcome to LiveFromNewYork's Best and Worst Sketches since 2015!

I was bored and decided to see what sketches this subreddit has enjoyed the most within the last 5 years since Sketch Sorting Sunday became a thing. The scores at the end of each title are the overall score on a scale of 0 to 10. The 10 is the highest rated sketch amongst the entire list. A 0 is the worst rating from a sketch. So don't think too much of the actual score since the #1 sketch was a pretty big outlier. I've decided to split the best and worst lists in multiple categories so that way I can give a spotlight to as many sketches as possible.
You might find some surprises or question why a spot on any of the lists seem out of place. Once again, this was done by Reddit votes, so take these with a grain of salt. Regardless, it was a lot of fun making this! I ended up getting data for 1,484 sketches! If you have any other lists you're interested in, let me know!

Best Overall Sketches

1. Black Jeopardy - Tom Hanks / Lady Gaga - 10/22/2016 - 10.0
2. Sean Spicer Press Conference - Kristen Stewart / Alessia Cara - 2/4/2017 - 8.8
3. Haunted Elevator - Tom Hanks / Lady Gaga - 10/22/2016 - 8.5
4. Diner Lobster - John Mulaney / Jack White - 4/14/2018 - 8.4
5. Weekend Update - Pete Davidson - Chance the Rapper / Eminem - 11/18/2017 - 8.4
6. Meet Your Second Wife - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler / Bruce Springsteen - 12/19/2015 - 8.3
7. Kumail Nanjiani Monologue - Kumail Nanjiani / Pink - 10/14/2017 - 8.0
8. Papyrus - Ryan Gosling / Jay-Z - 9/30/2017 - 7.9
9. Pool Boy - Julia Louis Dreyfus / Nick Jonas - 4/16/2016 - 7.8
10. Black Jeopardy - Chadwick Boseman / Cardi B - 4/7/2018 - 7.7

Worst Overall Sketches

1. Warehouse Fire - Chadwick Boseman / Cardi B - 4/7/2018 - 0.0
2. Kanye West Performance - Adam Driver / Kanye West - 9/29/2018 - 0.5
3. Christmas Party - Kevin Hart / Foo Fighters - 12/16/2017 - 0.6
4. Laser Harp - Donald Trump / Sia - 11/7/2015 - 0.7
5. Migos Performance - Charles Barkley / Migos - 3/3/2018 - 0.8
6. White House 2018 - Donald Trump / Sia - 11/7/2015 - 0.8
7. Office Halloween Party - Kumail Nanjiani / Pink - 10/14/2017 - 0.8
8. DJ Khaled Performance - Paul Rudd / DJ Khaled - 5/18/2019 - 0.9
9. Jode - Octavia Spencer / Father John Misty - 3/4/2017 - 1.0
10. Holes (Clothes) - Adam Sandler / Shawn Mendes - 5/4/2019 - 1.0

Best Cold Opens

1. White House Press Briefing - Alec Baldwin / Ed Sheeran - 2/11/2017 - 6.9
2. Kavanaugh Hearing - Adam Driver / Kanye West - 9/29/2018 - 6.5
3. Presidential Debate 2016 - Margot Robbie / The Weeknd - 10/1/2016 - 6.2
4. Trump Press Conference - Felicity Jones / Sturgill Simpson - 1/15/2017 - 5.8
5. Jeff Sessions Gump - Octavia Spencer / Father John Misty - 3/4/2017 - 5.6
6. NATO Cafeteria Cold Open - Jennifer Lopez / DaBaby - 5.3
7. American Households - Scarlett Johansson / Niall Horan - 5.3
8. The Third Presidential Debate 2016 - Tom Hanks / Lady Gaga - 10/22/2016 - 5.1
9. Democratic Debate 2015 - Tracy Morgan / Demi Lovato - 10/17/2015 - 5.1
10. R. Kelly Interview - Idris Elba / Khalid - 3/9/2019 - 5.1

Worst Cold Opens

1. Trump Addresses the Media - Will Ferrell / King Princess - 11/23/2019 - 1.0
2. The Mueller Report - Sandra Oh / Tame Impala - 3/30/2019 - 1.2
3. Final Presidential Debate 2020 - Adele / H.E.R. - 10/24/2020 - 1.3
4. Trump Declares National Emergency - Don Cheadle / Gary Clark Jr. - 2/16/2019 - 1.4
5. Vice Presidential Debate 2020 - Bill Burr / Jack White - 10/10/2020 - 1.6
6. Donald Trump Trucker Rally - Kumail Nanjiani / Pink - 10/14/2017 - 1.6
7. The Trial You Wish Had Happened - JJ Watt / Luke Comb - 2/1/2020 - 1.7
8. Trump / Sopranos - Tina Fey / Nicki Minaj - 5/19/2018 - 1.7
9. Days of Our Impeachment - Harry Styles - 11/16/2019 - 1.7
10. Trump and Company - Woody Harrelson / Billie Eilish - 9/28/2019 - 1.7

Best Opening Monologues

1. Kumail Nanjiani - 10/14/2017 - 8.0
2. John Mulaney - 4/14/2018 - 6.6
3. Dave Chappelle - 11/12/2016 - 6.5
4. Aziz Anzari - 1/22/2017 - 6.5
5. Lin Manuel Miranda - 10/8/2016 - 6.2
6. John Mulaney - 2/29/2020 - 6.1
7. Adam Driver - 1/25/2020 - 5.9
8. Chance the Rapper - 10/26/2019 - 5.9
9. John Mulaney - 3/2/2019 - 5.8
10. Matt Damon - 12/15/2018 - 5.3

Worst Opening Monologues

1. Jennifer Lopez - 12/7/2019 - 1.2
2. Kristen Stewart - 11/2/2019 - 1.2
3. Kevin Hart - 12/16/2017 - 1.3
4. Benedict Cumberbatch - 11/5/2016 - 1.6
5. Felicity Jones - 1/15/2017 - 1.8
6. Ryan Gosling - 12/5/2015 - 1.9
7. Donald Trump - 11/7/2015 - 1.9
8. Emily Blunt - 10/16/2016 - 1.9
9. Jonah Hill - 3/5/2016 - 1.9
10. Woody Harrelson - 9/28/2019 - 2.0

Best Live Sketches

1. Black Jeopardy - Tom Hanks / Lady Gaga - 10/22/2016 - 10.0
2. Sean Spicer Press Conference - Kristen Stewart / Alessia Cara - 2/4/2017 - 8.8
3. Haunted Elevator - Tom Hanks / Lady Gaga - 8.5
4. Diner Lobster - John Mulaney / Jack White - 4/14/2018 - 8.4
5. Meet Your Second Wife - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler / Bruce Springsteen - 12/19/2015 - 8.3
6. Black Jeopardy - Chadwick Boseman / Cardi B - 4/7/2018 - 7.7
7. Mid-Day News - Phoebe Waller-Bridge / Taylor Swift - 10/5/2019 - 7.2
8. The War in Words - Claire Foy / Anderson .Paak - 12/1/2018 - 6.9
9. Career Retrospective - Larry David / Miley Cyrus - 11/4/2017 - 6.9
10. Baby Shower - Brie Larson / Alicia Keys - 5/7/2016 - 6.8

Worst Live Sketches

1. Warehouse Fire - Chadwick Boseman / Cardi B - 4/7/2018 - 0.0
2. Christmas Party - Kevin Hart / Foo Fighters - 12/16/2017 - 0.6
3. Laser Harp - Donald Trump / Sia - 11/7/2015 - 0.7
4. White House 2018 - Donald Trump / Sia - 11/7/2015 - 0.8
5. Office Halloween Party - Kumail Nanjiani / Pink - 10/14/2017
6. Jode - Octavia Spencer / Father John Misty - 3/4/2017 - 1.0
7. NBA Bubble Draft Finals - Chris Rock / Megan Thee Stallion - 10/3/2020 - 1.1
8. Thank You, Obama - Aziz Anzari / Big Sean - 1/22/2017 - 1.1
9. Wisconsin Hardware Store - Jennifer Lopez / DaBaby - 12/7/2019 - 1.2
10. Get Woke with Tamika - Tiffany Haddish / Taylor Swift - 11/11/2017 - 1.3

Best Shorts

1. Papyrus - Ryan Gosling / Jay-Z - 9/30/2017 - 7.9
2. The Pool Boy - Julia Louis Dreyfus / Nick Jonas - 4/16/2016 - 7.8
3. Kellywise - Kumail Nanjiani / Pink - 10/14/2017 - 7.5
4. G.E. Big Boy Home Appliances - Jason Momoa / Mumford and Sons - 12/8/2018 - 7.5
5. Bern Your Enthusiasm - Larry David / The 1975 - 2/6/2016 - 7.5
6. Nike Women's Ad - Chadwick Boseman / Cardi B - 4/7/2018 - 7.4
7. Tasty Toaster Tarts - Chance the Rapper - 10/26/2019 - 7.4
8. God is a Boob Man - Julia Louis Dreyfus / Nick Jonas - 4/16/2016 - 7.3
9. A Girl's Halloween - Tom Hanks / Lady Gaga - 10/22/2016 - 7.3
10. Totino's Pizza Rolls - Larry David / The 1975 - 2/6/2016 - 7.1

Worst Shorts

1. Holes - Adam Sandler / Shawn Mendes - 5/4/2019 - 1.0
2. Sasquatch - Sterling K. Brown / James Bay - 3/10/2018 - 2.1
3. Song for Peace - Chris Pine / LCD Soundsystem - 5/6/2017 - 2.1
4. The Last Dance - SNL At Home Finale - 05/27/2020 - 2.3
5. The Standoff - Tracy Morgan / Demi Lovato - 10/17/2015 - 2.4
6. Them Trumps: Rally - Jennifer Lopez / DaBaby - 12/7/2019 - 2.4
7. Ass Angel Perfume Jeans - Adele / H.E.R. - 10/24/2020 - 2.4
8. Drake Song - SNL At Home - 4/11/2020 - 2.4
9. Sarah and Sarah - Tina Fey / Nicki Minaj - 5/19/2018 - 2.5
10. The Karate Teen - John Cena / Maren Morris - 12/10/2016 - 2.5

Best Musical Guests

1. Anderson .Paak - 12/1/2018 - 4.9
2. Jack White - 10/10/2020 - 4.4
3. David Byrne - 2/29/2020 - 4.1
4. Childish Gambino - 5/5/2018 - 4.1
5. Courtney Barnett - 5/21/2016 - 4.0
6. Harry Styles - 4/15/2017 - 3.9
7. Eminem - 11/18/2017 - 3.9
8. Halsey - 2/9/2019 - 3.8
9. Chance the Rapper - 12/17/2016 - 3.8
10. The Weeknd - 3/7/2020 - 3.8

Worst Musical Guests

1. Kanye West - 9/29/2018 - 0.5
2. Migos - 3/3/2018 - 0.8
3. DJ Khaled - 5/18/2019 - 0.9
4. Justin Bieber - 2/8/2020 - 1.3
5. The 1975 - 2/6/2016 - 1.3
6. The Chainsmokers - 4/8/2017 - 1.4
7. Thomas Rhett - 3/2/2019 - 1.4
8. Big Sean - 1/22/2017 - 1.7
9. Nicki Minaj - 5/19/2018 - 1.7
10. Katy Perry - 5/20/2017 - 1.8

Best Weekend Update

1. Colin Jost and Michael Che Switch Jokes - 5/18/2019 - 7.0
2. Jeb Bush Willing to Send Troops to Syria - 11/21/2015 - 6.3 / Part 2
3. Christmas Joke Swap - 12/15/2018 - 6.0
4. Trump Rallies - 10/17/2020 - 5.9 / Part 2
5. Trump Leaves the Hospital - 10/10/2020 - 5.8 / Part 2
6. Donald Trump's Asia Trip - 11/11/2017 - 5.6 / Part 2
7. Trump Cancels Chicago Rally - 3/12/2016 - 5.5
8. One-Year Anniversary of Robert Mueller Investigation - 5/19/2018 - 5.5
9. Harvey Weinstein - 10/14/2017 - 5.4
10. Final Presidential 2020 Debate - 10/24/2020 - 5.3

Worst Weekend Update

1. President-Elect Donald Trump - 11/5/2016 - 2.6
2. Amazon Opens New York Headquarters - 11/17/2018 - 2.7
3. Trump Fires Back at Critics - 10/26/2019 - 2.7 / Part 2
4. First 2015 Democratic Debate - 10/17/2015 - 3.0 / Part 2
5. Michael Cohen's Congressional Testimony - 3/2/2019 - 3.0
6. Trump Securing Release of American Prisoners - 5/12/2018 - 3.0 / Part 2
7. Trump Declares a National Emergency - 2/16/2019 - 3.0 / Part 2
8. End of Government Shutdown - 1/27/2018 - 3.1 / Part 2
9. Home Edition - 4/25/2020 - 3.1 / Part 2
10. GOP Debates - 1/16/2016 - 3.1 / Part 2

Best Weekend Update Features

1. Pete Davidson - Chance the Rapper / Eminem - 11/18/2017 - 8.4
2. Eric and Don Jr. - Larry David / Miley Cyrus - 11/4/2017 - 7.7
3. Pete Davidson - Awkwafina / Travis Scott - 10/6/2018 - 7.7
4. Jon Rudnitsky - Larry David / The 1975 - 2/6/2016 - 7.5
5. Jay Pharaoh - Jonah Hill / Future - 3/5/2016 - 7.4
6. Pete and John - Rachel Brosnahan / Greta Van Fleet - 1/19/2019 - 7.2
7. Opera Man - Adam Sandler / Shawn Mendes - 5/4/2019 - 7.0
8. Every Boxer's Girlfriend - Larry David / Miley Cyrus - 11/4/2017 - 6.8
9. Every Teen Girl Murder Suspect on Law and Order - Jonah Hill / Maggie Rogers - 11/3/2018 - 6.7
10. Eric and Don Jr. - Tina Fey / Nicki Minaj - 5/19/2018 - 6.6

Worst Weekend Update Features

1. Jeff Sessions - Harry Styles - 11/16/2019 - 1.8
2. Leslie Jones - Chris Pine / LCD Soundsystem - 5/6/2017 - 1.8
3. Von Miller - Melissa McCarthy / Kanye West - 2/13/2016 - 2.0
4. Leslie Jones - Chris Hemsworth / Chance the Rapper - 12/12/2015 - 2.1
5. Leslie Jones - Larry David / Miley Cyrus - 11/4/2017 - 2.1
6. Two Undecided Voters - Lin Manuel Miranda / Twenty One Pilots - 10/8/2016 - 2.3
7. Nancy Pelosi - Jennifer Lopez / DaBaby - 12/7/2019 - 2.3
8. Beck Bennett - Felicity Jones / Sturgill Simpson - 1/15/2017 - 2.3
9. Study Barbie - Larry David / The 1975 - 2/6/2016 - 2.3
10. Donald Trump - SNL At Home - 4/11/2020 - 2.4

Highest Rated Episodes

1. Tom Hanks / Lady Gaga - 10/22/2016 - 5.1
2. Chance the Rapper - 10/26/2019 - 4.7
3. Julia Louis Dreyfus / Nick Jonas - 4/16/2016 - 4.7
4. Chance the Rapper / Eminem - 11/18/2017 - 4.5
5. Larry David / Miley Cyrus - 11/4/2017 - 4.5
6. Amy Schumer / Kasey Musgraves - 5/12/2018 - 4.5
7. John Mulaney / Jack White - 4/14/2018 - 4.5
8. Ariana Grande - 3/12/2016 - 4.5
9. Jonah Hill / Maggie Rogers - 11/3/2018 - 4.5
10. Matt Damon / Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus - 12/15/2018 - 4.4

Lowest Rated Episodes

1. Donald Trump / Sia - 11/7/2015 - 2.9
2. Amy Schumer / The Weeknd - 10/10/2015 - 3.1
3. Benedict Cumberbatch / Solange - 11/5/2016 - 3.2
4. Ryan Gosling / Leon Bridges - 12/5/2015 - 3.3
5. Dave Chapelle / Foo Fighters - 11/7/2020 - 3.3
6. Felicity Jones / Sturgill Simpson - 1/15/2017 - 3.3
7. Chris Hemsworth / Chance the Rapper - 12/12/2015 - 3.3
8. Jennifer Lopez / DaBaby - 12/7/2019 - 3.3
9. Don Cheadle / Gary Clark Jr. - 2/16/2019 - 3.3
10. Kristen Stewart / Coldplay - 11/2/2019 - 3.4
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2020.11.15 19:37 sisinana UPDATE: VIRGIN GALACTIC (SPCE) – THE $1000 CASE FOR SPCE

UPDATE: VIRGIN GALACTIC (SPCE) – THE $1000 CASE FOR SPCE
UPDATE: VIRGIN GALACTIC (SPCE) – THE $1000 CASE FOR SPCE
We are updating our forecasts to incorporate wildly improbable, yet possible, scenarios for Virgin Galactic. Our updated forecasts are guided by management comments and a recent jenkem-fueled all-nighter, which we believe have not been fully appreciated by the broader market. Forecasts below and fuck you in advance.
Bottomline: SPCE stock or LEAPS
Main Updates
We are raising our forecasts for space tourism revenue, primarily driven by a significant increase in our pricing assumptions over the near term.
We are guided by management comments that suggest there will be robust demand for a supply constrained experience:
β€œI am very bullish on the transformational experience that we intend to deliver and the price points we believe we could command for this one of a kind supply constrained product.” – Michael Colglazier (CEO), November 5, 2020
β€œYes, I think our pricing strategy is going to evolve off the experience, but one of the things that I am excited about is when you have a truly incredible product and one that will be supply constrained as opposed to demand constrained, it gives a lot of flexibility into our pricing model.” - Jonathan Campagna (CFO), November 5, 2020
Virgin Galactic will be re-opening ticket sales in 1Q21 and we expect individuals with net worths in excess of $500Mn to bid up prices as they compete to be part of the first 3,000 ticket holders. As such, we believe that ticket prices could rise as high as $3Mn in the near term. Keep in mind, one of these sick bastards once offered to pay Britney Spears $10Mn to sleep with him….the money for outrageous shit is there.
Globally, there are approximately 10,000 people worth $500Mn+. When incorporating an estimated average family size of 5, we believe there are 50,000 people that could afford a $1Mn+ ticket price. Given the supply constraints associated with this experience, we estimate that at least 3,000 of these individuals will bid up the price to become among the first commercial astronauts. As such, we see high margin revenue showing hockey stick growth over the next three years.
Space Mining
We have incorporated space mining into our VG forecasts. There is a $10,000 quadrillion asteroid out there and we believe Virgin Galactic, SpaceX and Blue Origin will be actively developing technologies over the coming years to exploit these types of situations. We see the possibility of space companies disrupting the mining industry by 2030.
https://preview.redd.it/ru496g3m6gz51.jpg?width=1402&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08feea9adcf8c42cba346601436125bc88d1f4c4
Catalysts
We expect significant appreciation over the next 12 months. The following catalysts have the possibility to materially impact the Company’s valuation.
November, 2020 – SpaceX launch in the next few days
November 19-23, 2020 - First spaceflight from Spaceport America – (Potential 2 week delay due to NM government)
January/February 2021 – Second spaceflight from Spaceport America
February 2021 – 4Q Earnings – update on ticket pricing and hypersonic travel
March 2021 – Branson goes to space….VG becomes a household name (wife’s boyfriend starts talking about it)
April-July 2021 – Leonardo DiCaprio, Katy Perry, Justin Bieber go to space.
Technicals
I’ve also included some lines that I drew that may or may not be important. Close over $24 on high volume breaks the 12 month wedge = stock price might go higher. Ton of options outstanding + significant short interest = possibility of massive short/gamma squeeze.
https://preview.redd.it/cajgq38v6gz51.jpg?width=1530&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f6d970743d4bf3f5d9cfae7925ba5a7ea2060dc
Source = We = Me and your dad. Not investment advice.
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2020.11.11 09:18 newsfeedmedia Justin Bieber’s wife Hailey unfollows disgraced former Hillsong pastor Carl Lentz

Justin Bieber’s wife Hailey unfollows disgraced former Hillsong pastor Carl Lentz submitted by newsfeedmedia to newsfeedmedia [link] [comments]


2020.11.07 17:44 BrilliantPen N.J.’s Carl Lentz, Justin Bieber pastor fired from Hillsong megachurch, admits to cheating on wife

N.J.’s Carl Lentz, Justin Bieber pastor fired from Hillsong megachurch, admits to cheating on wife submitted by BrilliantPen to u/BrilliantPen [link] [comments]


2020.11.07 13:41 Faction_Chief /r/news - https://www.nj.com/entertainment/2020/11/njs-carl-lentz-justin-bieber-pastor-fired-from-hillsong-megachurch-admits-to-cheating-on-wife.html

/news
https://www.nj.com/entertainment/2020/11/njs-carl-lentz-justin-bieber-pastor-fired-from-hillsong-megachurch-admits-to-cheating-on-wife.html
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2020.11.07 12:57 hopopo Entertainment N.J.’s Carl Lentz, Justin Bieber pastor fired from Hillsong megachurch, admits to cheating on wife

Entertainment N.J.’s Carl Lentz, Justin Bieber pastor fired from Hillsong megachurch, admits to cheating on wife submitted by hopopo to atheism [link] [comments]


2020.11.07 12:56 hopopo Entertainment N.J.’s Carl Lentz, Justin Bieber pastor fired from Hillsong megachurch, admits to cheating on wife

submitted by hopopo to news [link] [comments]


2020.11.07 03:08 DrunkenTree Coterie and Circle: The Serene Witches

A witch kidnapped me last week. Three witches saved my life.
'Tis the season — or 'twas until All Saints' Day last Sunday — not for holly wreaths and reindeer, but for ghosts and black cats, hanging skeletons and crumbling gravestones. And the inflatables: jack-o'lanterns, fat witches, goofy vampires, Jack Skellingtons and Mister Oogie Boogies, zombie Minions — things my son, twenty-five, calls spoopy. Anything you can buy, creepy or cute, somebody in our neighborhood will put up.
One display, though, didn't look like it came from a store — at least, not from the Hallowe'en section. The fake cobwebbing surely did, and maybe the pointed hats weren't homemade, but the rest was assembled from odds and ends by somebody with a genuine artistic streak.
I saw them down by the lake, half a mile from our house, my wife's and mine:
Three witches stand by a black cauldron, two watching as one stirs, perhaps chanting softly. They wear black pointed hats, and gauzy robes of black, green, and purple, and their faces are as green as the Wicked Witch of the West. But there the resemblance to any other Hallowe'en witches I've seen ends.
They are child-sized, three feet tall beneath their hats. They have no bodies, merely gauze draped to suggest slender female forms. Even the arm from which a long spoon stirs the cauldron is only suggested by the drape of gauze. The cauldron itself is a black plastic flower pot, sprouting some dead herb. The dead plants are mostly hidden, though, by the fake cobwebs stretching up from the cauldron, higher than the witches' hats, in smooth curls and waves that perfectly suggest rising steam. The herbs are especially invisible at night, when the cobwebs gleam brightly in a small solar-powered spotlight.
The heads, wherever they came from, are child-sized as well, lifelike in feature, and smoothly green. The expression on each face is utterly calm. Not placid — the set of the mouth is too confident for placidity. They exude a serene assurance, an absolute certainty — We shall prevail. That calm conviction, on these servants of evil, is more unnerving than any sour frown, creepier than any maniacal grin.
They stand behind the cauldron, the center one half-hidden by steam. The right witch holds the long black spoon; her stance is assured, her grip firm — though her hand is only a hint of gauze.
All their faces turn toward the street. Yet in passing I can never find a point when one looks directly at me. Each witch, somehow, always looks just to one side or the other.
I walked by the serene witches several times in October. From our home near the university I often walk down into the Scramble, the tangle of looping and dead-end streets where Taylor Branch flows into the lake. Most cars swing south to Highway 88 rather than face the confused layout, so it's a peaceful and safe place to walk.
At least, when nobody wants to kidnap you.
I could write a book about why I was kidnapped, about the decades-long hidden struggle between two secret groups around Drunken Tree Lake. And there's much I don't know, tales veiled even from those of us directly involved.
I'll forgo the history, and just say: I and my wife — call her Jane — are both witches, part of a large group. (Yes, men call ourselves witches, too.) She's better at it than I am, and higher in our ranks — not one of the leaders, but she often works with them. I do minor stuff, protections and dispulsions. I've got no skill for the big castings Jane works on, but I do have a fine sense for strains and deformations.
There's a rival group that hates us. Why is some of that long history. Most of what happens between us is just maneuvering, each side trying to protect itself, jockey for an advantage here or there. Now and then, somebody gets hurt, like when two of them got killed last fall, but it's rare. And — in our group, at least — only the upper levels know just how deep the conflict runs.
So I wasn't expecting trouble. I've been taking longer walks than usual, trying to keep my daily step count up while the plant is on short shifts. Sometimes Jane comes with me, but usually I'm alone.
It was about an hour after sunset, the last light just fading. I was down in the Scramble, strolling along Holly by the lake. I'd just passed the witches, slowing as usual to see if I could catch one of them looking toward me. But once again they were calmly intent upon their potion-making, confidently disregarding the passing world.
I barely noticed a van parked at the curb, or the guy who stepped around it as I passed. He nodded vaguely — then blinded and immobilized me. Nothing fancy — or magical: He hit my eyes with pepper spray, then punched me high in the gut with a baton. I dropped in the street, blind and breathless.
He dragged me into the van, through a sliding side door. My eyes streaming, I never saw the interior well. But he had leather shackles ready for my wrists and ankles, and a ball gag for my mouth. Lucky for me: My running nose plugged my sinuses in seconds; an old-fashioned cloth gag would have suffocated me. As it was, my nose streamed steadily, and I kept blowing it violently. (I don't know if there's DNA in snot, but just in case I tried to saturate that van. Useless, in the end.)
We drove only a few minutes. He opened the side door and reached for the shackles. "If you fight," he said, "I'll hose your face again." For answer, I blew a blast of snot toward his voice. "Jesus shit green stamps," he said. The baton cracked me on the front of the shin. The pain was horrible. I screamed behind the gag and threw myself against the straps. "Hold still, goddammit," he said. "Don't care if I blind you. Or cripple you — I only need your brain."
Nearly helpless, I kept still while he unfastened the shackles and dragged me out, jerking me to my feet. I got the impression of a large space, but I still couldn't see well. He led me limping across a concrete floor to a stairway, where he shoved me in front. "I've got a taser, too," he said. "Don't be a dumbass."
I stumbled up two flights, clinging to a handrail to my left, wiping my nose over and over. I was in a commercial or light industrial building, but I couldn't guess where. "Turn left," he said.
In a small room without windows, he strapped me to a chair — straps around my ankles and another around my chest, so my lower arms were free to move. By bending my neck I could reach my face, but not behind me to the buckle. He dampened a washcloth at a sink, then dropped it and a dry one on my knees. Finally, he removed the gag.
"What do you want?" I cried as soon as I could speak. Grabbing the damp cloth, I bent my head to wipe my burning eyes and snot-spattered face. I didn't yet suspect he was a witch. I didn't know what was going on.
"I want to know where your wife is," he said, as if asking how to find the library.
"What?" That made no sense. "We don't have any money! I mean, we have money, but not ransom money! Not that much!" I was desperately confused. Who would kidnap me, just to find out how to kidnap my wife? Wouldn't it be simpler to break into our house and take us both together?
"She's meeting with somebody," he said. He named two other women — both witches, both leaders in our group. "I want to know where they're meeting."
"I dunno! She has ladies' groups!" I coughed and spat. "She doesn't tell me about them!"
He laughed. "I bet she doesn't." He felt of my pockets until he found my phone and worked it out. He put it in my left hand. "Unlock it."
I dropped it. "No." With my right hand I finished wiping my face, then dropped the damp cloth to my thigh and picked up the dry one. "Whatever you think you're doing, leave my wife out of it." A last scrub at my eyes, and I got my first good look at him.
Through tears, I'd thought he was wearing a mask. Now I saw he wore a short gray beard beneath light brown hair streaked with gray. And, though I tried not to react, I recognized him. I didn't know him personally, but I'd been shown his picture. His name was Craig, and he was one of the leaders of the enemy.
He didn't bother to pick up my phone. Nor did he reach for the pepper spray or baton. I don't know just what he did next — Craig's skills were far beyond mine — but for the first time I knew I was captured by a witch.
The casting took three or four minutes. I don't know how long the spell went on once triggered — but it burned like hellfire under my skin, and seemed to last hours. I remember screaming a lot.
And when it passed, I did what he told me. Not from fear of the pain; I obeyed because the fire had taken away control of my body. I could think for myself, I could rage within as my fingers obeyed his commands, but I could not stop them.
I knew now I wouldn't leave here alive.
This time, I unlocked my phone. I pulled up Jane's location on the friends app. I showed him the map: She was at the Help Closet, a clothing charity downtown. "By God," he said, "we knew that was one of your protected hidey-holes, but we didn't know you were casting spells from there, too."
He unbuckled me and made me kneel in a painted circle on the vinyl floor, a small circle tangent to a much larger one. He began another casting, one in several stages. He burned some powders around me; he painted mixtures around the two circles; now and then, reading from his phone screen, he muttered verses. Between stages, he talked. "I need two things for this to work," he said. "Gotta know exactly where Jane is, and gotta have somebody who knows her real well."
I wish I knew her all that well, I thought, but his fiery compulsion kept me from saying it aloud. "Yuri showed me this," he said. I didn't know Yuri from Justin Bieber; I assumed he was another of their leaders, one whose picture I hadn't been shown. Maybe they gave each other code names. "If I can pull it off, it'll knock Branch out." He sounded uncertain, talking from nerves.
By God, I'd heard of Branch; she was one of the most powerful among our enemies. Some kind of disaster had nearly killed her about a year ago, Jane had told me. Branch was a deadly danger, if she was coming after Jane.
But it sounded to me like Craig was working alone, outside her sanction. And my particular talent could make him going rogue work for me.
Both groups are fairly large, though the exact numbers are known only to the highest ranks. Ours has several dozen witches; presumably the enemy has a similar number. But despite our large numbers, there's a limit to how much we can do.
Witchcraft distorts nature — really, that's its entire purpose — and nature can strike back.
Imagine packing stuff into a closet — brooms, boots, basketballs — cramming in as much as you can. Sooner or later it gets away from you; stuff pours back out. Squeeze in too many basketballs, and maybe the hinges tear loose when you try to latch the door. That's nature when witches stress her too far. Sometimes you have to let nature rest, let some air leak out of the basketballs.
Our craft is to steer nature as much as possible, rather than force nature to take an unwanted shape. It takes patience, and care, and time — the reason Jane and I are just a little better off, a little luckier, than most other people, instead of stinking rich and powerful.
And protections can only be made so rugged; try to cast too strong a spell on the walls of your house, and you're apt to make them collapse in reaction. So we work cautiously, looking for small gains, while constantly making tiny adjustments and improvements to our defenses.
Now imagine a closet with two doors, front and back. You're piling in basketballs, and somebody at the other door is piling in volleyballs. But two of you, working against each other, put too much stress on the walls, and the closet explodes all over both of you. That's when witches work against each other. Jane thought that's what injured Branch last year, a backlash from competing spells that both imploded.
That's the reason our two groups have been warring for so long, without either side gaining a clear advantage. Magical stress builds up on us, too, when we cast spells. If we threw our entire group into an attack, all of us casting spells against our foes, we'd be as likely — more likely — to destroy ourselves with the natural backlash we'd cause.
I work a lot on our defenses. I have no head for complex spells, and can't do the improvisations often necessary when a planned spell meets stubborn reality. That's Jane's strength. But I have a talent, a sensitivity for how annoyed nature is getting, for when a caster is putting himself in danger. And I have a fine touch for just how strong a protection can become before it begins to be a danger instead of a shield.
As Craig cast this spell from the mysterious Yuri, I sensed he was pushing his limits. As a leader, involved in many castings, he carried a load of magic stress that made his mere presence here a strain on nature. And this building showed the stress of frequent use, and carried protections that had been recently refreshed, and hadn't yet settled. It needed rest — but Craig wasn't patient.
While letting some smoke clear, he finished explaining his purpose. Jane and her two companions were engaged in a major casting — unfortunately, he didn't say how he'd learned this — and he intended to spy on them. One spell would use her exact location to focus a second spell, which would use my knowledge of her to summon a vision.
Such scrying spells are usually quite unreliable, even worthless, but this one would use my intimate familiarity with Jane to make it more precise. He'd be able to see and hear exactly what spell she and her two superiors were casting.
This was bad for us, like a competing firm having access to our internal emails and secret patent research. Knowledge of our group's castings would let them penetrate our protections or turn our attacks back on us.
The spells began to work. Kneeling in the small circle, I felt the second spell like a knitting needle in my brain, poking through my memories, summoning precise images, building a composite of Jane-ness. It used that to open a window to another place. Within the large circle, a vague, smoky image began to form, three women close together.
"No!" I cried, surprising myself. Craig's burning constraint was wearing off. I still couldn't move my arms or legs, but my voice had returned.
He glanced toward me, unconcerned. "Yell all y'want," he said. "She can't hear nothing." He turned back, his hands gesturing.
The sense I've mentioned isn't one most people have, and not one my childhood wired my brain to understand. I feel it as a smell, the smell of nature under strain, sour yet sharp, unpleasant yet enticing. And it was growing strong around Craig, and around me, and throughout this room.
I thought the knitting needle would leave me once the spell built a solid Jane image. But it continued to pierce my brain — and even it had a smell to me. I realized the vision was being channeled through me. I tried to shut it off, to force that needle out of my mind, but the spell overpowered me.
Could I influence it? Three witches, in a group — I thought of the three serene witches on Holly Avenue, brewing who-knew-what in their flower-pot cauldron. I summoned the memory, less than an hour old, of pausing before them again. I focused on their faces.
And the smoke-cloud faces in the large circle turned green.
But they solidified into three women, two tall and one short, one slender and two plump, wearing casual clothes. I recognized Jane's gray sweater and black jeans, her bright blue running shoes. In the vision her face was green, but her nose and chin were recognizable. I began to hear the whisper of their voices, distant, but growing nearer.
"It's working!" Craig hissed. Despite what he'd told me, he unconsciously lowered his voice as they grew solid.
Frantically, I tried to deflect the vision further. I surely wouldn't survive this night, but maybe I could protect Jane. I didn't know what they were casting, but if Craig heard it, she and our whole group were in serious danger. I closed my eyes and focused furiously on the serene witches.
Calm, so calm. Confident, assured, capable. Their voices silent, even from only a few feet away. Their minds working as one as they brewed, one stirring, two chanting inaudibly.
The voices grew more distant. I opened my eyes. The three women still stood in the circle, but their voices were mere murmurings. Their clothes had transformed to flowing robes. Their faces had lost all individuality. Their heads turned slowly, this way and that — never quite looking toward me, their gazes always skipping past me.
"They're looking for you," I gasped out, the effort making me dizzy. "They can find you! Yuri didn't tell you everything — they'll see you soon!"
Craig gestured more forcefully. The stench in the air grew, garlic roasting in hot ozone. Craig's personal aura was as taut as violin strings. For the first time I ever remember, I could hear the witchful stress as well as smell it, a high painful singing that made my teeth ache.
God, if these spells broke, I was right at their center. That needle in my brain could give me a magical frontal lobotomy. But I had to stop Craig.
"They can see you," I insisted. "Yuri lied to you. They can see you, right back through the spell!"
The serene witches, never looking directly toward me — I turned that now to my aid. Fiercely I concentrated: They don't look at me. They look at Craig. All three, gazing at him. The three green heads turned together. Craig's gesticulations grew wilder, more frantic. I remembered: They are calm. But not placid — absolutely confident, serenely certain.
We shall prevail.
I best remembered, could best project that certainty.
We shall prevail.
And it broke Craig. He started a new spell, a familiar protection chant, even as his hands desperately grasped for control over the vision he'd summoned. But he'd gone one spell, one gesture, too far.
The sound of stress suddenly changed, its pitch shrieking down from almost ultrasonic to a bone-crumbling basso profundo even as its volume doubled or trebled. The garlic and ozone smell became burningly strong, seeming to sizzle in my brain. The circles' painted outlines flashed like neon, then turned to black ash.
It dizzied me and confused me that there was no other visual effect at all. The vision in the large circle vanished, but there was nothing else to see, even as I smelled and heard the natural world recoil against the strains Craig had inflicted, felt the proper order of things lash against him — and me — like snapped wires.
I screamed, but Craig screamed louder. I slumped to my side, but he fell hard, convulsing on the floor, kicking and beating at his head. His screams shaped into words: "Get away! Don't look at me! No! Get away!" His hands still beating at his cheeks and temples, blood spraying from his battered mouth, he scrambled toward the door on knees and elbows. He passed through, and I heard a terrible thumping on the stairs.
For a few moments I lay half-stunned. Finally I wiggled a foot, lifted a hand, rolled over to sit up. I had control of my body again. And, though deeply nauseous, apparently I'd survived the backlash without obvious harm. Cautiously I sidled to the doorway and peeked out.
I could see blood on the landing halfway down, but not Craig. I heard yelling, then the van's engine started. It revved up, and there was a terrific crash. The van's engine roared into the distance, echoing off buildings.
I made my way unsteadily down the stairs. At their foot, more blood splattered the concrete floor. Further out, pieces of wood and metal littered it. Craig had driven the van through a wooden overhead door to escape.
I heard no one approaching. Quickly, my balance improving with each step, I ran upstairs for my phone. I sent Jane a text, a code word meaning, Watch your back. Hostiles near. I searched the building, some sort of small commercial workshop. I found nobody else, no other prisoners. A quick glance outside told me I was in the southeast part of town, a little light industrial zone about two miles from my house. The area was all but empty, nearly every business closed for the night.
I left on foot, sticking to alleyways and shadows in the empty neighborhood. I was crossing Highway 88, heading into the Scramble, when I heard sirens behind me. I looked back to see the first orange glow of fire. I hoped I'd gotten the fire started well; I'd used the entire five-gallon can of gas I'd found. I'd set a delay, so I could get away unseen — nothing magical, again, just a five-inch utility candle in a pile of gas-soaked paper — but evidently fumes had ignited early.
My last walk down Holly Avenue had ended badly, but it was my most direct — and best lighted — route home. I was surprised to see blue and orange flashing lights ahead, with a small knot of people gathered round.
The orange lights were on a tow truck, just hoisting up Craig's van from where it had run into someone's yard. The blue lights were from an Argenta police car. The cop was writing in a notebook, notes from someone he was interviewing. I tapped an onlooker on the shoulder. "Whahoppened?"
"Some nut," he said. "Ran his truck into the Neelys' yard, jumped out screaming, ran down the street screaming. All covered with blood. Yelling about witches, out to get him. Freakin' crackheads."
I grinned, and strode off toward home. Evil fate led Craig back to Holly Avenue, to drive right past the serene witches, brilliant green in their spotlight. He'd run off the road two houses further on, and disappeared into the night.
I can't be sure yet, but I think his mind is broken. If he heard any of the spell Jane and the others were casting, I don't think he'll remember it. I doubt he'll remember they were at the Help Closet. He may not remember his name.
That's not the end, of course. Our two groups have been at war for decades, since before Jane and I were born, and that won't end this week.
We're not even going to retaliate for my kidnapping. I'm still carrying a powerful load of magic stress; any spell even indirectly related to me is likely to increase it. And our group is much more cautious than theirs about things that attract attention; police tend to frown on kidnapping and violence.
But I did burn out one of their protected workshops. Its enchantments would surely have kept me from entering, if Craig hadn't dragged me there.
Hallowe'en over, the serene witches have come down. But, with Jane to help, I personally — very discreetly, very carefully — cast a protection and a blessing on the house and grounds where they stood. I can't give the unknown artist my gratitude directly. But they and theirs will live a little more safely, be a little more fortunate, for this year and the next.
I owe the serene witches that much.
DTS
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